Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
In America we eat man semen.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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