I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
