never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
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