I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
