I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
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