the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Randomize
