this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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