Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
