he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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