sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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