in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
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I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
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Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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