If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
