I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
