i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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