wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
