The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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