32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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