I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
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