Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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