My hair reeks of homosexuality.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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