Having a random hookup so left but love u
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
