i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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