alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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