All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
we made out on top of his cat.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
