it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Every concussion has its silver lining
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
