My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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