don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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