Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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