I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
