I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
