You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
