I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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