I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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