she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I'm really busy with my period
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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