You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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