Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
