My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
