i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
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