Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
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