party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
