nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
