In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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