Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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