I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
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Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
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YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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