don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
