The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
My vagina just recognized that song.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
