yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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