She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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