Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
