Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
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