you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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