I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Randomize
