Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
