hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
