Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
