so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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