No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Randomize
