We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
pray to the hookup gods
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize