In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Ambien. No doubt about it.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
