I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
I did not marry a roomba.
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